by Brad Whitaker

Theology – real and relevant:

Theology – literally meaning talk of God – just the word can make one’s eyes glaze over with boredom. Theology is most often understood as those words that describe God and our relationship with God. Truth is, that is what some call secondary theology. Real theology, or better said, primary theology is an expression of our immediate and real experience with God. Let me share a story with you about a primary theologian in my life.

In 2006 when I returned from the 75th General Convention in Columbus, Ohio, my daughter asked me if I had “voted for that lady.”  Yes, I said, I voted for Bishop Katharine. My daughter smiled. She then asked, “What about that anti-gay thing, you didn’t vote for that did you?” 

She of course meant B-033 and the Church’s urging that dioceses, bishops and standing committees refrain from the election of and consent to persons to the episcopate whose manner of life would be an issue for those in the broader Anglican Communion. This was of course subtle language asking us for a time period of restraint in ordaining any more gay persons as bishop. Clearly my daughter had heard it reported and labeled it “anti-gay.” 

So, back to my answer. “Yes, honey, I did vote for B-033.” “Well,” said my daughter, “you batted .500!” 

Not wanting to bear the full responsibility for the manner in which I voted, I quickly said, “But Katharine made us do it! Well, rather, she asked us to do it.” To which my daughter replied. “Dad, that didn’t work for Adam (of Adam and Eve), and it’s not working for you!” 

Nailed! And not to let Bishop Katharine off the hook she added, “And that lady bishop: she’s batting .000.”

My daughter can say these things because of her life-long experience with people who have helped my wife and me raise her. This includes her youngest brother’s godparents, Hank and Phil, and especially her priest, my senior associate, the Rev. David Dieter and his partner Richard Thomas. These persons and many others like them—gay, straight, single, married, divorced, young and old—in my daughter’s life give her a real ongoing experience of the living God, which she is more than willing to share with others as her story of God fully alive.

Can it be more simple and clear? Primary theology. In the relationships of people like David and Richard, just as in the relationships of opposite-gender persons, she can see real, living expression of God in her daily life. It is real. It is not bound and limited by the words of theology, rather it is visible and tangible. It—this expression of God—is physically present in the love shared by real people with names, with hopes and fears, with joys and sorrows, with tragedy and conquests, with respect for the dignity of every human being infused by the incarnation of God.

How can this not be sacramental—an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace given by God as a sure and certain means by which to receive that grace.

Is she imagining such grace from God?  Is she delusional?  Is this God-like beauty and grace she is experiencing simply a trick of the “evil one?”  And if it is, what trick is being played upon her if everything that she experiences by being in relationship with these persons lives out, puts into flesh and blood in a 21st century experience, the Gospel of Jesus? 

Isn’t this what we lift up as sacramental in the lives of men and women when we celebrate their marriage?  Go no further in your thought than a yes or a no. What exactly are we claiming as sacrament in the blessing of two persons who are committing to a life-long relationship but that the testimony of their love to the world is indeed a witness to the love of Christ. And isn’t that what we see in same-gender relationships just as we see them in like mannered opposite-gender relationships? 

Scripture, to be precise four rather obscurely placed, small portions of scripture, none of which were spoken by Jesus, are often used to make a case against same gender, life-long relationships. And I heard these arguments by a few at General Convention in Anaheim. However, I did not hear anyone argue for the repealing of the Church’s position on divorce and remarriage; and on that matter Jesus could not have been more clear.  Yet, we have, rightly so, interpreted even those red-letter words in the context of our present experience, have we not?  It seems to me that the argument against the blessedness of same-gender relationships, when it comes to the argument in scripture, is often argued on very shaky ground.

Spiritual meets the Secular

Not to move forward in providing liturgical rites for the sacramental blessing of same-gender, life-long relationships lacks integrity for our Church. And here we venture into the secular and legal question as to the ethical, legal and moral appropriateness of anti-gay marriage laws often deemed “Defense of Marriage” acts by local states and the Federal laws of this and other countries. These state laws institutionalize and legalize bigotry in its clearest sense in that by excluding persons of same gender from legal marriage, we deny them some 1,140 legal rights automatically granted to the legally married couples of opposite gender. This is legalized bigotry in the same manner that Jim Crow laws of preceding decades were immoral. The Church is not dependent upon state and federal laws to determine which relationships it chooses to bless. While it may not be legal in some states, the Church can indeed proclaim blessings upon whomever it so decides. Until such liturgies are provided and the General Convention, including the House of Deputies and House of Bishops, allows their use, I wonder if clergy of such a conscience on this matter and who live in states that prohibit the legal marriage of same gendered persons might consider refraining from signing legal marriage licenses, thus removing themselves from the state’s legal process. A justice of the peace, judge, or other state-recognized individual could sign the state’s document. Not signing a marriage license will not change a single word in our blessing and solemnization of opposite-gendered persons (marriage services). In the eyes of the Church, these persons would indeed be husband and wife. We simply would not participate in the process of state marriage that is biased in its interpretation of who may receive the rights of marriage and who may not. The Church can decide who receives its rites and fight for the legal rights of all at the same time.

Moving forward in 2009

So where is the Church today? What answers will I have for those, like my daughter, who care deeply about all the people in their lives that bring to reality the presence of God? Resolutions D-025 and B-056 now combine with A-052 from 1997 and others as clear statements about where the Church stands today. They are documents with roots in resolutions dating back to 1976 that began to call us to a complete and rich understanding of what we mean when we proclaim to respect the dignity of every human being. For 35 years, that is a full generation (read that again—a full generation of people), we have been affirming the dignity of gay and lesbian persons in our Church. Isn’t it time we stood clear and strong for this proclamation? 

What really binds us in unity? No doubt there are those that do not experience God’s living breathing reality in gay and lesbian persons and their life-long relationships. I grieve over this. And no doubt some of these persons will decide the Episcopal Church is off its rocker and step away from us. These persons are members of congregations within the Episcopal Church as they are members of other branches of the Anglican Communion. I am sorry they will choose to step away, for while this matter is of utmost importance, it is not so important as to demand that brothers and sisters in faith tear apart the tunic of Christ. That is easy for me to say as one who happens to have an experience that is in the majority in our corporate life. Those who do not have my experience of God’s love being demonstrated by the love shown in our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters bear a much heavier challenge in remaining with the Church. I am moved beyond words that can be written as to their commitment to our unity in Christ as seen in their actions to remain.

And I give thanks every day for their place at the Eucharistic table.

There are those who lay 100 percent of the blame for the decline in Church membership and financial resources on the matters of our dialogue, debate and action regarding human sexuality. Nothing could be further from the truth. All Christian denominations, including even the most conservative, have seen a decline in membership over the past several decades. To lay the responsibility of this loss on those that have given voice to the witness of God’s love in persons who are gay/lesbian is reckless. I am convinced there are many factors at work in regards to persons’ identification with and commitment to a particular denominational faith, and many studies on changing cultural values have attested to such. However, I do believe that a primary reason for the decline of membership is that we have become apathetic in our real relationship with God, with the Holy Spirit and with Jesus. For reasons too long to list we have stopped telling our story of God alive in our lives. And to bury that story diminishes greatly the opportunity for others to hear how God is real, how God is alive, how God is relevant. We simply aren’t very good at telling our own story. A people dispassionate about their story will have little success in not only retaining members but in attracting others as well. Where is God real, relevant, and visible in your life? We need to practice telling those stories.

Back to primary theology

So the story three years later will be told quite differently to my daughter as I return from General Convention this time. We, the Episcopal Church, will without doubt receive heated words from those who lack an experience of God’s love being demonstrated from the life-long relationships of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. They will hurl words at us like apostasy, heresy, arrogance, fast-moving, etc. I pray we will receive these words humbly and with the armor of Christ upon us remaining grounded in our Gospel conviction that all persons are created in the image of God and welcomed in our midst. This is our experience of God in the flesh and blood of others.

This is primary theology. This is God alive and it is indeed our story.

Thanks be to God.